Parshat Vayigash

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We find in our parashah a short and strange dialogue between Yaakov and Pharaoh:

Pharaoh said to Jacob: ‘How many are the days of your life?’ Jacob said to Pharaoh: ‘The days of my sojourning are a hundred and thirty years. Few and bad have been the days of my life, and they have not attained to the days of the life of my fathers in their sojourning.’ ” (Gen. 47:8-9). This is a surprising answer to an apparently innocent question.

Yaakov states a difference between “life” and “sojourning”, even though he has not been asked that way. Rabbi Yitzhak Karo, in his commentary “Toledot Yitzhak” explains that “sojourning” refers to the wandering in life (“megurim” [=sojourning] is close to “guerut”, being a stranger and a wanderer), while “life” refers to good life. Yaakov wanders in life and even the time regarded as good was not actually that good. Rabbi Shimshon Raphael Hirsch explains “Life” as the time when there is a meaningful task to fulfill, while “sojourning” means life in general. Yaakov feels that his task in life was little and not good.

He says the days of his life were bad. Bad? He benefited from divine grace in a way only a few chosen merit! He overcame many difficulties and rebuilt himself. That’s why God changed his name into Israel! He run away with nothing and came back rich and strong. He made peace with his brother and succeeded in settling in his father’s land. He grew twelve children all of whom followed the paths of his forefathers, remaining faithful to God. This is a task in which both Avraham and Yitzhak did not succeed! (Yishmael, Zimran, Yokshan, Medan, Midian, Yishbak, Shuah and Esav are the evidence). He found his beloved son, whom he believed dead.

Isn’t Yaakov aware of his success in life? He is, indeed; he knows it very well. He even thanks God for this: “I am not worthy of all the mercies, and of all the truth, which You has shown unto Your servant” (Gen. 32:11). Nevertheless, these positive facts in his life are not enough to calm the pain of his soul. There is an unfathomable difference between what others see from the outside and what a person feels and experiences form the inside. Yaakov has a deep internal feeling that his life is bad. Trying to convince him that he is all right by showing him his achievements, is tantamount to tell him his feeling is not correct. But his feeling is strong and true! This kind of encouragement only increases the breach between his internal and external worlds. This only causes him more pain.

Few and bad have been the days of my life”. It is from that point onwards, and not going against this statement, that one can help Yaakov to take a different look at his life and at his soul. Only by understanding this painful position we can help whoever expresses, like Yaakov: Few and bad have been the days of my life.

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